Small Miracles

So for those of you who don't know, my mom has been having some health issues lately.  Towards the end of January, she suddenly was having major headaches which quickly turned into double vision.  She couldn't drive, couldn't work, and really couldn't do much of anything.  It came out of nowhere and happened very quickly.  She saw numerous doctors and specialists and had dozens of tests done but everything came back normal and healthy.  Normally that would be a great thing, but the double vision continued and just looking at her eye, you knew something was wrong.  She wore an eye patch the majority of the time, and tried to keep busy, but I don't think any of us really knows how much we rely on our vision until its gone.  She couldn't watch tv for too long, couldn't read, couldn't look at a computer screen, couldn't drive, couldn't crochet.  She would do small tasks for short periods of time because when she wasn't in pain, she frankly was bored.  She would garden and clean the house but that's pretty much all she could do.

After a couple weeks, her vision started to improve a bit and slowly she started doing a little bit more and after six weeks, even though her vision wasn't 100%, she went back to work.  She was so excited the morning she woke up and finally could see with no double vision, which happened about a week after she went back to work.  She still had the headaches, but with no answers from the test results, the doctors just gave her some pain meds and told her to keep down on the stress.

Unfortunately, about 3 weeks after she had gone back to work, she started to get the same weird feeling on the other side of her head that she had gotten when this whole thing started, and sure enough, within a week we were back where we started, this time on the other eye.  Another round of tests and doctor visits brings us to about 2 weeks ago, when her primary doctor gave her the results of her MRI, MRA, and CAT scans.  Everything showed up normal yet again.  I know, I know, this should have been good news, but this eye looked even worse than the last one, so there was obviously something wrong!  A phone call later, the doctor got the results from one more round of blood tests, this time from the neurologist.  FINALLY, we had a diagnosis.  Myasthenia Gravis.  Yeah, we had never heard of it either.  The doctor only told my mom that is is rare and he didn't know much about it other than it is a debilitating disease that affects the muscles, causing them to get weaker and weaker over time.  Yeah, I know we wanted an answer to why this was happening and what it was, but it still came as a crushing blow.  He said within a few years she would have trouble walking and swallowing food.

Over the past few weeks we have been researching the disease, waiting until we got the official diagnosis and more info from the neurologist herself.  We obviously had a lot of questions especially after all the research we did.  Her appointment was this morning and we found out she does NOT have Myasthenia Gravis....she has OCULAR Myasthenia Gravis.  Basically there are two types, one that only affects the eye muscles and one that affects all muscle groups of the body.  The vision problems are universal with the disease, no matter which type you have but the good news is, although she will probably have flare-ups where the double vision will continue to occur, it won't be affecting the rest of her body.  Small miracle, but one I think the entire family, especially my mom, is grateful for today.  There is no cure, but it is 100% treatable and she will be able to keep a lot of control over it.

Thanks everyone for all your thoughts and prayers.  Its been an emotional few months but I'm thankful my mom can finally get back to enjoying her life.  < 3

The road less travelled?

So, I realized recently that I need more single friends.  Don't get me wrong, I love my friends, and interestingly I'm found of my friends' significant others.  However, I've come to realize that I have no life, and this in not very conducive to dating.

Now, I think I realized this back in November, when a friend of mine and her bf were going through some issues and she suddenly spent all of her time trying to make it better.  I understood and didn't hold it against her.  In fact, at the time, I was sort of seeing someone so it wasn't at the forefront of my mind.  It was, however, slowly coming to the surface.  Throughout the fall, many of my friends had to cancel or reschedule plans because of their significant others.  And then of course I happen to date the one guy who is busier than I am and who ended up cancelling on me at the last minute all the time too.  Again, Nikkie is a very understanding person, but after a few months of this, and now that the above mentioned guy is no longer in the picture (not that he was actually "in the picture" for very long, given I saw him maybe twice in 4 months), I'm beginning to realize I need a life.  A life that includes going out and meeting new people.  I went out a lot when Tricia was here, and probably even moreso when Corey was here as well, but it tended to be either the three of us, or Corey's best friend thrown in the mix, who is sort of a butthead when alcohol is included.  I didn't realize until recently that maybe I should have been more social during this time.  Maybe I should be more social in general, but again, how does one do this when her friends don't go out very often, opting for nights in or alone with their bfs/gfs/husbands/wives/fiances....

I think the last guy made me want a bf, for the first time since high school really.  I didn't when we started dating, but he sort of talked me into it, then bailed.  Not cool at all, but hey, gotta move forward and not dwell on the past. 

So here I am....trying to move forward and not really sure how at this point.  Daniel, a good friend who I sort of dated about 1 & 1/2 years ago, told me that I can be really timid, which is why he thought I wasn't interested in the first place and it never went anywhere.  Nothing like a bit of constructive criticism about your dating style, lol, but it was good to know.  I think I've gotten better since then, but it all goes back to meeting new people.  I don't really know how to do that.  A big part of the reason I didn't want to do an online school program was because I wouldn't necessarily get to meet anyone, and actually going to a class and seeing people might have been good for me.  I still think that, but in the end, convenience and timing won out and now I'm back to still being single, and still not really having people to go out with. 

I think part of it is confidence issues too.  Which is probably gonna be a lot harder to overcome.  For instance, when I go line dancing with one friend, I have a great time, but literally never get to asked to dance.  Not once.  She gets offers all night, and I just stand to the side, usually alone, watching everyone two-step without me.  Its probably why I still don't know how to two-step.  I realize that's stupid and a little thing, but it makes me not want to go line dancing usually.  I always think I'm gonna have a good time but I end up alone at our table most of the night and it gets annoying.  Same with when I go out with another of my good friends.  She's more of a glamorous type, never leaves home without perfect hair, make-up, and heels.  Kinda of hard to stand out when you have gorgeous friends.  Don't get me wrong, I have a very well developed ego, and can be very full of myself.  But when I go out with certain friends, and those friends get asked to dance, or get drinks bought for them, its hard to keep any sort of confidence. 

I go out, and I do a lot of things by myself, and I really don't mind it, but a lot of times I just feel like I'm in a social rut, and when a lot of my friends are settling down, getting married, and having kids, kinda makes me more of a loner.  I am happy with where I'm at in my life and I'm working on quite a few goals, but the older I get, the more I realize this road is getting kind of lonely.  It'd seriously just be nice to have more people to share it with. 

Gladiator Rock n Run

Today was a day I had been equally dreading and anticipating for quite some time now.  My best friend Andrea decided that she wanted to run a 5k, but not just any 5k, no no no, that was too easy!  She wanted to do an obstacle course type 5k.  So, without really asking me, she signed us both up.  Now don't get me wrong, I love a challenge, but this was a bit more intense than I had bargained for.  So anyhoo, I waited until last night to take a look at the course map, and man.  There were 15 obstacles....

1. Nightmare Mystery

2. Buddha's Burden

3. Terrible Tires

4. Wrecking Ball 

5. Fools Spools

6. Rope a Dope

7. Gladiator Yell

8. Skid Marks

9. Wall of Fame

10. Cargo Climb

11. Log Jammer

12. Nightmare Mystery

13. Mud Madness

14. Hell's Hills

15. Gladiator Barbecue

Now tell me, how intriguing does any of that sound?  Lol, so yeah, I went into it this morning totally intimidated. But Andrea and I promised each other we would stay together and keep each other pumped in order to get through it.  And man did we get through it!!  Lol, seriously the most intense thing I have ever done physically.  It was fun, don't get me wrong, but man.  I was proud of myself for finishing and completing all the obstacles, although I have to admit, the 8 foot "Wall of Fame" was too much for me and I had to do the 4ft pink "Wall of Shame" instead.  Lol, but hey, still did it, right?  

Now, you can't see my legs, but you get the gist of just how muddy I was!!  Literally crawled on all fours through 5 mud pits about 20 feet long. I had mud in places I didn't even know existed!!!  We tried rinsing ourselves off but realized that mud was still running off and wouldn't stop!  We drove home barefoot and wet, but feeling immensely proud of ourselves. 

Definitely can't wait for the next one!!!  < 3

I'm a copycat

So, I know, I have about 5 online blogs already, why start another one?  1) I'm only friends with maybe 3 people that followed the originals and 2) those were all started in high school, where, let's face it, major emo drama prevailed, so why not start fresh?  A few months ago, I started following one of best friend's blogs, and I entertained the idea of starting one.  Then a few days ago, another best friend started one, and again, I thought, why not?  One lives in Texas, the other in Washington, so I figure its a nice way to keep in touch with friends on a more day-to-day basis, what with busy schedules and different time zones.  So here I am! =)

In other news, I am finally starting school again!  I know, many thought this would never happen since I've been saying I was gonna go back for so long now, but miracles do happen! Today is my first day of classes, only about 15 months after I was supposed to start, but hey, better late than never!  I am taking online classes through Grand Canyon University working on a Masters in Secondary education.  I am so intimidated, lol, but its something that needs to be done and more importantly, something I really want.  I will be taking one class every 8 weeks so my last class starts September 6th, 2012!  Yay!  

Ok well, time for work now.  I have to admit, I enjoy my job much more knowing that there is an official countdown to the end.  I like my job overall, I'm just not cut out for pharmacy work and I've already been doing it longer than I ever expected to do it.  Definitely happy to be moving forward finally.  <3